Honoring vs. Obeying - Amy Sapp
Honoring vs. Obeying
Ephesians 6:1–3 – “Children, obey your parents… honour thy father and mother…”
John 14:15 – “If ye love me, keep my commandments.”
Proverbs 3:5–6 – “Trust in the Lord… and he shall direct thy paths."
“When life gives you lemons…” — YOU finish the sentence... I am fairly sure the majority of us.. said, "MAKE LEMONADE."
Lemons are tart, sometimes even bitter. They can make you pucker up!
But lemons also cleanse, refresh, and add flavor, if they are used right.
Our relationships, especially with authority (parents, spouses, leaders, and even God), can sometimes feel tart too.
So today, we’re squeezing truth out of one of those “sour” but important areas...
What’s the difference between honoring and obeying?
PART 1: OBEDIENCE IS EXTERNAL
Ephesians 6:1
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.”
Obeying means doing what someone says. It’s about actions.
We teach kids to obey quickly, completely, and with a good attitude. But the focus is on the doing.
You can obey without honoring.
* Example... A child cleaning their room while mumbling under their breath is obedience without honor.
Obedience is generally expected while under authority like children in the home, or under a teacher or leader.
Obedience is for a season. It’s behavior. It’s necessary. But it’s not the end goal.
PART 2: HONOR IS INTERNAL
Ephesians 6:2
“Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise…”
Honoring is deeper. It’s about your heart, respect and value.
It doesn’t end when you leave home. We are always called to honor.
You can honor someone even if you’re no longer required to obey them. * Example... Adult child respectfully caring for aging parent with different views. Maybe you have a parent that believes different than you?!?
Honor continues when obedience fades.
Honor is what helps you speak well of someone, protect their reputation, seek peace.
Honor is for a lifetime. It’s heart. It’s relationship-based.
PART 3: HOW JESUS MODELED BOTH
John 14:15
“If ye love me, keep my commandments.”
Jesus obeyed the Father perfectly. He said, “Not my will, but thine.”
But He also honored Him through reverence, prayer, and consistent relationship.
Even in death, Jesus honored His mother
(John 19:26–27... He made sure she was cared for).
Truth.... Obedience is doing the right thing; honor is doing it with the right heart.
PART 4: APPLYING IT WHEN LIFE FEELS SOUR
Let’s face it.. some people are hard to honor. And obeying God in certain seasons can feel sour.
But like lemons:
God’s commands are good for us, even if they’re hard to swallow.
Honoring difficult people doesn’t mean agreeing with their sin, but it means showing respect because we are walking in the Spirit.
Children: Teach them to obey, but model honor.
Parents: Let your adult children grow, and focus on building honor-based relationships.
Wives: Sometimes obeying God in our marriage feels like lemon juice in a wound, but keep honoring even when it’s hard.
Churches: Honor your leaders even when you don’t agree on every detail.
Honor and obedience are like the peel and the juice, you need both for flavor.
Obedience may be temporary, but honor is a lifestyle.
When life gives you lemons... when authority hurts, disappoints, or changes, choose to live in honor and obey God above all.
BECAUSE we follow God. Humans, are just that. HUMAN, just like you and me.
Go back to Proverbs 3:5–6
Trust Him, even when it’s sour. He will direct your path.
Obedience is action. Honor is attitude. Jesus showed both.