Disappointed or Detemined - Kristi Caviness

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8, 9

Have you ever been disappointed when you volunteered for an event or production, and you imagined yourself playing a significant role, only to find out that you were assigned to help clean the toilets and take out the trash? It is so easy to build imaginations and expectations of how our lives will be, and the type of role we will play. Often, those thoughts include God using our lives in ways we view as important and valued by others in our circles. 

These types of expectations for my life were completely erased when God allowed several severe health issues, losses, and transitions to alter my life forever. In my mind, I could accomplish so much more for the Lord if He would allow me to keep my health. While I was struggling with these changes and the enormous impact they would have on my future, a godly and dear friend kindly and lovingly reproved me and said, “Kristi, don’t be disappointed in God’s will for your life.” My first reaction to this reprimand was to be defensive; however, when I let what she said sink in, I realized she was right, and she was helping me see things with clear vision. 

The mental adjustment I had to make to bring my thinking in line with her comment was not easy or quick. Was I disappointed with what God had for me? Did I think I knew better than our omnipotent God? I didn’t want the answer to these questions to be “yes”, but when I pondered what was in the depths of my heart, I realized my actions were speaking louder than my words of acceptance and trust in God. 

When I think of someone in the Bible who did not want to walk the path laid before him, I immediately think of my Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane. “And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” (Matthew 26:39) With the agony and burden of the cross before Him, He asked for His path to be altered, yet He asked with a spirit of surrender and acceptance of whatever his Father chose for Him. 

As I continue to ponder people in the Bible who accepted God’s path for them even through great difficulty and uncertainty, I think of Joseph and how his life changed over and over in seemingly horrendous ways. Yet through all of it, Joseph kept an excellent spirit and continued serving the Lord. Can you imagine what would have happened if Joseph had chosen to quit, give up, or give in? 

Joseph is just one of many who were led to walk a hard road; a road of disenchantment, transition, pain, and loss. The more I thought about it, the more names came to mind…Esther, Job, Ruth, Noah, Mary, mother of Jesus, and Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, to name a few. 

Of course, there are also examples of those who did not accept what God desired for their life and fought it. Jonah is a prime example of this. He was miserable the entire time he ran. Not only did he have to go through being swallowed by a whale, but he also jeopardized the lives of the others on the ship to Tarshish. 

I heard my dad say so many times, “The safest place to be is in the center of God’s will for your life.” Does the center of His will mean there will be no pain…no. Does being in the center of God’s will mean you won’t struggle with what He has for your life…no. It does, however, mean that any pain and suffering you experience will have purpose and meaning, even if you can’t understand how at the time. It does mean that you can show the grace and glory of God to those around you through your struggle. Many times, it also means that God will use you to reach, strengthen, and encourage others going through similar struggles. 

 I don’t know what you are facing. There are certainly many ways we may become disappointed in God’s will for our lives: health problems, the death of a loved one, the loss of dreams for the future, infertility, not finding a spouse, major transitions, and many, many other things may cause disappointment. Like Jesus did before He went to Calvary, we may ask “let this cup pass from me”, yet we need to keep our hearts malleable and willing to accept God’s answer, no matter what it may be. Are you disappointed in God’s will for your life? Have you stopped and truly thought about how you are responding to God’s will and leading in your life? Like me, are your actions of disappointment and resistance speaking louder than your words of faith and trust? 

The good news is that we still have the opportunity to correct our response and have a testimony of faithfulness to the Lord, no matter what He asks us to bear. As my friend did for me, may I encourage you, don’t be disappointed in God’s will for your life, but determine to embrace it and find joy in the path He has set before you. 

I have listened to the song entitled “Did You Forget” over and over again when struggling with the acceptance of my various trials and situations. I hope these lyrics will encourage your heart the way they have mine.  

When you lose and lose again,

And you feel that you are broken, and you’ll never mend

And when you try, try to understand

But the answers don’t make sense

And you’re at your end

You can cry a million tears

And relive the pain inside

Or you can go unto the one who has your best in mind.

Did you forget Jesus loves you?

And did you know He has a plan?

And have you heard how He died to save you?

Can you truly trust God’s Son…Yes, you can!