Loving the Unlovely - Amy Sapp

I want to talk to you about something challenging: loving the unlovely. By “unlovely,” I mean those who are difficult to love whether due to their actions, attitudes, or circumstances.

WE are called to love as Christ loves, and this often means stepping outside our comfort zones. Luke 6:32 reminds us: “For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them.” The true test of our faith is how we love those who may not love us back, who may challenge our patience, or who may even wrong us or may have already wronged us.

We will explore how we can love the unlovely with God’s help.

I. God’s Command to Love

Loving others is NOT optional for a Christian ~ it’s a command.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 22:37-39:

“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”

This love extends not just to those who are kind to us, but to everyone, even those we find difficult to love. Jesus takes it a step further in Matthew 5:44:

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” OUCH!

These words are HARD. They go against our natural instincts. But they are necessary to living like Christ.

II. The Example of God’s Love

To understand how to love the unlovely, we must first reflect on how God loves us. Romans 5:8 says:

“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

We were once unlovely in God’s sight... rebellious, sinful, and undeserving. Yet, He loved us enough to send His Son to die for us. This love is our GREATEST example.

Consider the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32. The father showed unconditional love to his wayward son, even after he wasted his inheritance and lived sinfully. When the son returned, the father didn’t chastise or reject him; instead, he embraced him, saying:

“For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.” (Luke 15:24)

If God loves us in this way, how can we not love others the same?

III. Good tips to Love the Unlovely

1. Pray for Them

Jesus commands us to pray for those who hurt us:

“Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.” (Luke 6:28)

Prayer softens our hearts and opens the door for God to work in their lives and ours. When you pray for someone who is difficult to love, you invite God into the situation. It is very difficult to not love someone that you pray for.

2. Show Kindness

Romans 12:20 says:

“Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink.”

Kindness can break down barriers. Sometimes, small acts of kindness maybe a smile, a kind word, or a helping hand can soften even the hardest heart.

3. Forgive Them ~ ALWAYS FORGIVE

Forgiveness is essential to loving the unlovely. Ephesians 4:32 reminds us:

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing wrong behavior, but it does mean letting go of bitterness and leaving everything in God’s hands.

4. See Them Through God’s Eyes

Ask God to help you see the unlovely as He sees them precious souls in need of His love. 1 Samuel 16:7 says:

“The Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.”

When we see others as God sees them, we can love them with His love.

IV. The Blessings of Loving the Unlovely

Loving the unlovely isn’t just about obedience; it’s also about blessings. When we love others, we reflect Christ and experience His joy and peace.

1. A Witness to the World

John 13:35 says:

“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

When we love the unlovely, we show the world the power of God’s love.

2. Peace in Our Hearts

Colossians 3:15 says:

“And let the peace of God rule in your hearts.”

Bitterness and hatred rob us of peace, but love and forgiveness bring freedom and joy.

3. Eternal Reward

Matthew 5:46-47 reminds us:

“For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?”

Loving the unlovely may not always be easy, but it is eternally rewarding.

Let our focus be on loving everyone even the one that is UNLOVELY. Because Christ loves each of us the same!