Expectations - Terri Cannon

But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity. Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. (Philippians 4:10-13)

Dan Quisenberry was a beloved pitcher for the Kansas City Royals in the 1980’s. Early in 1998, he was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor and died in September of that year. We lived in Kansas City at the time, and I remember a newsperson interviewing Quisenberry and she asked him, “Dan, do you ever ask, ‘why me?’?” And I will never forget his answer, he responded with “Why not me?”

Having been in the ministry for almost 40 years now, I am convinced that the number one killer of Joy is expectations.

Have you ever planned to talk to someone and in your mind, you plan out how the whole conversation is going to go? I’m going to say this and then they’re going to say that, and then I’ll come back with the other thing and on it goes. Then you get into the conversation and the other person goes completely off-script and you can’t understand what happened! That was not the way it was supposed to go! The conversation didn’t meet your expectations.

Have you ever had a birthday or an anniversary coming up and you imagine the affection and attention and gifts your spouse is going to shower down upon you? Then the day comes, and he gives you some flowers from the grocery store checkout with a note on a scrap piece of paper that says, “Love you.” That was not the way it was supposed to go! Your spouse didn’t meet your expectations.

There is nothing quite like beholding your newborn baby. Nothing smells sweeter and nothing is softer than that precious child. A few months later, you’re changing her diaper and she starts spitting up, so you pick her up to keep her from aspirating on the spit up and she gets hit with a case of the runs, right on your lap. (True story.) Motherhood in that moment doesn’t meet your expectations.

There is our relationship with the Lord. I don’t know about you, but even though I was young when I got saved, I remember the joy that filled my soul knowing that Jesus was my Saviour and I had a home in Heaven. Prayer is precious and answers to prayer fill us with an overflowing wonder. Then life hits. Illness comes. Money is tight. Eggs cost $6 a dozen! The daily dregs of cleaning and cooking and homework and baths and bills take our focus off the Joy of the Lord. This was not the way it was supposed to go. Life with Jesus was supposed to be roses and ease and lollipops! This Christianity stuff is not meeting your expectations.

Nothing steals our joy like our expectations. Why am I sick? Why is my spouse not superman? Why is my kid struggling in school. Why isn’t my church growing by 100 every Sunday? Why don’t I “unexpectedly” find a check in the mail for thousands of dollars to pay my bills?

Why not me? We live in a fallen creation in a fallen flesh. Disasters strike, disease abounds, sin abounds even more. We love Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” But all things are necessarily expected things. Paul didn’t have health and wealth, but he had happiness. He had learned the secret. No expectations.  “every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.”

Our joy can’t be founded on our circumstances, on people, or on things. My body has been affected by life-altering disease for the past 43 years. I did not come from a good family. Ten times we had a baby born into the arms of Jesus. Circumstances, people, things; those aren’t reliable. If my joy came from those things, I wouldn’t have joy. But my Jesus is always reliable. There is always one like unto the Son of God in the fire with me. Release your expectations and look unto Jesus. “[F]or I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” Our joy can only be found in Christ.